OMFG -- Asian Invasion

Our society, especially in the past couple uber-proactive decades, has come so far in so many ways. Equality for marriage, while not the norm everywhere, is spreading, the President is an African American for the first time in history, and, well you get the picture. However, every once in a while I am subjected to less-than-forward behavior that reminds me of a select few ignorant douchebags are ruining our progress. Okay, so maybe "ruining our progress" is a bit harsh -- causing extreme eye rolls and sighs of disbelief is more like it.

My lovely hometown of Toronto is spectacular in its diversity. As a first generation Chinese-Canadian growing up in darling little T.dot (my parents, both from Hong Kong, moved to Toronto in 1975 and eventually became Canadian citizens. Being born here, I had native citizenship, obviously) I've never felt out of place at all, and relished all the different types of ethnicities and cultures that make up the stunning mosaic that is the city. Of course, being Chinese is still a minority in North America (but not the world! Over 1 billion and counting...that's right kids, on a global scale everyone but the Chinese are a minority! Insert evil laugh here..) and it's when I travel to different parts of the continent that I realize just how little some people know about Asia.

Oh goodness, the lines I've heard unknowingly come out of the mouths of the uneducated! Or, the educated and just rude! Usually I just muffle a laugh, roll my eyes a little and move onto the next conversation, but get a couple drinks in me and I get all snappy self-righteous bitch on these jerks. I was in Vegas a couple weeks ago and with some wealthy men who joined my girls and I for dinner on several occasions. These men were powerful, moneyed and I'm assuming cultured, but alas,when they started speaking many lines tumbled out of their liquored mouths that proved otherwise. One noted how beautiful an Asian friend of mine was and proclaimed that he was, and I quote, an "expert on Asians." Really? Like really? We're human beings my dear, not an indigenous plant species. My other friend and I dissolved into laughter recounting the incident later in our hotel room....yeah, and I'm an expert on white people. It just sounds ludicrous when you phrase it like that! We spoke to these men the next day and wondered aloud why they didn't comment on the looks of myself and other friend, who is Asian as well. They claimed they simply didn't notice we were. After sitting directly across from both of them at dinner. And engaging in direct conversation. For three hours. Apparently the blonde highlights I've put into my hair for the summer have done more than hide my roots! They've hidden my race as well!

All kidding aside, I know it's not ill-intentioned malice that is causing such comments. It's just a little misinformation, or really no information at all. I get comments that I look identical to Lucy Liu all the time, from baristas, to waiters, to that dude who stands at the door and greets you at Abercrombie and Fitch and I shrug it off and simply think to myself "Wow these people are dumb!" I mean, while she's beautiful, Lucy Liu and I look nothing, and I mean nothing alike. It's like if I told the Abercrombie dude that he and that guy over  there (points to random guy across the store) look like twins simply because they're both Caucasian. Another innocent enough but still annoying gem of a line I get laid on me often is along the likes of "Omg! You're the prettiest Asian girl I've ever seen! No offense, but all the ones I see are usually not so good looking! Like pretty ugly!" Um, offense taken, thank you very much! But sure, call me pretty and you can insult my entire race! Like I said, it's innocent enough, just mind-numbingly ignorant in its execution. (Also, on a totally selfish and superficial note, it would be nice to be called the most beautiful girl, not just the most beautiful Asian girl!)

Anyways I could get all preachy about equality and race and blah blah blah, but honestly it's just not necessary. We don't all look alike, we don't all speak the same language, (I get called a Geisha all the time...yeah, I'm Chinese, not Japanese buddy boy) and we especially don't all have the same customs. Asia is as diverse as it is here in Canada, and if you're really having trouble grasping this fact, then for the love of humanity, Wikipedia that shit! Try not to be mindlessly ignorant and respectful and you're good to go. Oh, and don't tell me I look like Lucy Liu...or I might have to kick some ass.
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OMFG -- a S'pore goodbye!

It's my last day here in Singapore and the only word to describe how I'm feeling is grateful. This trip has been a crazy, wonderful, enlightening experience that I can add to all the other experiences I've had thus far in my grand journey. As my gorgeous roommate and now good friend makes dinner in our little kitchen above the church, I plan on leaving Singapore the way I came -- with the company of amazing friends. I'm probably also going to leave partying because let's face it, that's how I came here too...boarding my flight after being out until 6am the night before -- not fun! I wanted to write a quick list of what I'm thankful for while my memories are still fresh:
The people
Singapore has been an amazing city to live in, and I'm sure I'll be back in the near future. The people here are insanely polite, and this coming from a Canadian can only mean that they're not just a little polite -- they're ridiculously, generously, beautifully polite. From the friends of friends who graciously shared their yachts, homes, and dinners to the darling little old man who walked up to my roommate and I in the pouring rain and insisted on holding his umbrella over our soaking heads until we hailed a cab. There was also the woman with the Chanel purse, LV pantsuit and if I remember correctly, the Swaroski-encrusted manicure, who took twenty minutes on her smartphone to locate the address I was looking for and then walked me to it, all the while apologetically saying sorry as to how long it was taking. This isn't just politeness in the form of a tight smile and terse thank you like we've become used to; this is genuine care and I appreciated every lovely moment of it.
The food
As if this really needs any explaining -- read my previous post. Let's just say I have to hit the gym hard when I get back. I don't care if you don't make friends with salad...I'm going to be best-freaking-friends with salad once my plane hits the ground!
The parties
It's true, you can't go totally insane here because of all the laws, but you can still go 90%! And, like anyone who's on vacation of sorts, the anonymity helps with achieving that 90%. I've fallen into another phase of hardcore love for house music simply from dancing my bum off to Armin at 4 in the morning in the clubs, then until sunrise on my balcony or the beach....there's nothing quite like being totally in the moment listening to house beats while throwing back Moet on the beach. It's a feeling where everything seems consequence-less and just dandy -- and to feel that way even momentarily is memorizing. Although, when our landlord informed us one morning that the church had called to inquire as to "who was screaming about drugs at 4 a.m.?!" I remembered that of course, things aren't quite as consequence-less as they some times seem in my head...for the most part anyways!
Me Myself & I
Everyone...and I mean everyone needs time alone -- away from everything and everyone you're used to, to just be. Yes, it's clichéd to say we all "find ourselves" in our twenties but it's clichéd for a reason. It's because we all do, and however you choose to do that, whether it's a trip, or any other opportunity...do it.

While I'm dreading the three flights I have to take in just a few hours, I figure it's a small price to pay for the experience I've had here. In reference to the post I wrote after just arriving here...my black Samsonite is definitely the only baggage I'm leaving with tonight. And thank the heavens for that.
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OMFG - Modelizers galore..

After being here just over two weeks I've encountered many new species: the incredibly large and scary flying bugs that whiz in and out of my apartment via the open balcony, the screeching tropical bird which wakes me up every morning that, although I know it's probably rare and endangered, I just want to shoot, and then there's the most fascinating species of all -- modelizers. Oh, sure, we have our share of mild modelizers in Toronto -- men that enjoy the company of leggy waifs hanging around King West and pursue them here and there and whatnot but over here, at least from what I've seen, it's not just for sport -- it's a downright profession.

With so many girls here who are depending on modeling to give them a better life, I guess it's no surprise that it's like shooting fish in a barrel for men who have oodles of money (or enough to pretend they have oodles) to come in and sweep them off their feet with dinners, trips, purses and hey -- maybe even a little affection. I've had dinner with more than my share of modelizers and to hear them talk about us models like pieces of meat really ("Oh, this agency gets all the good blondes. She had good legs, bad teeth though. Unfortunate." That's so not what's unfortunate about that sentence, buddy.) is something I choose to view as entertaining. Yes, they're condescending and arrogant but likely sad little men as well so I make the best of such situations and humor this amusing breed of (not-so) gentlemen. (I also end up befriending modelizers because it's apparent one drink into dinner that they're not getting in my pants.) Men that want to be surrounded by beautiful women always isn't surprising really, I mean sex makes the world go round and round after all (sorry love and money) -- what's surprising to me is how willing all these girls are to latch onto some dude they barely know. Coming from a fairly well-off family in Canada I guess I can't really relate to not having a backup plan in life but to see fourteen year olds throw themselves at men old enough to be my dad -- well it's just kind of gross. Okay sure, maybe I'm being unsympathetic; what if they came from a hard life and have parents who are ill and blah blah blah but honestly if you're some chick who wants to whore themselves out via their looks to get the good life, well don't expect much sympathy from anyone! Like jeez, go to school or something! Brains. They're in our heads for a reason.

Snideness aside, the situation is what it is and oh goodness, it's just downright hilarious sometimes. While enjoying tapas and martinis the other night, one modelizer friend of mine expressed his disdain for a girl who outright asked for a designer bag during lunch with him. "I mean, can you believe that?!" he had exclaimed. That's the fine line of modelizing; even though the girls are acutely aware of their status as status symbols, it's in bad taste to actually acknowledge it...subtleties also make the world go round if you ask me. It's a whole industry where decisions are made on nuances so why should the sex associated with it be any different? These girls are girlfriends to the men they're with, and are expected to act appropriately. Sometimes it's like watching a father with his daughter who just was taught how to act like a lady post-Cotillion or something....i.e.hilarious. 


I'm sure some of these pairings turn into lasting unions, and good for the ones that do, but for the rest of the girls out there who are looking to latch their legs onto something better than what they came from; it's a mess waiting to happen. Even the savviest of femme fatales are bound to feel used (and really, how much of a femme fatale can one be as a teenager?) or worse. A modelizer's motto likely something along the lines of "why fuck the girl in the skirt when you can fuck the girl modeling the skirt?" -- well ladies, or more like girls, why fuck the man with the money when you fuck some one who actually likes you for you? Exactly.
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OMFG -- Take Me Away!

I've got Asia on the brain. There's a potential trip for me in the very near future and after almost two years since I was in Hong Kong, Tokyo and Malaysia last, it's consuming my thoughts. The culture, the food, the partying -- oh my! I'm hoping this trip gets finalized soon because I am thisclose squealing obnoxiously with excitement whenever anything to do with Asia comes up. (Are those rice crackers you're eating?!! EEEEEeeeeeeaaahhh!!!!)

A born and raised Toronto girl, Asia's always been a place I heard my family talk about all the time but somewhere I never had a tangible feel on. I had been once when little, but have no recollection of (well not no recollection but very little; mostly of Hello Kitty. I was two, go figure.) and then several times in recent years only to discover that the cities of Asia are even better in person than I had imagined all these years. They are spec-fucking-tacular, to put it mildly. The first time the plane I was on descended onto Hong Kong in the evening, I remember being absolutely entranced by the gazillion lights of a spectrum of colors that covered the incredible skyline of the city, all the while being in juxtaposition against majestic rolling mountains. A feeling of excitement crept up my insides; there was a whole new city -- no, a whole new side of the world -- I hadn't experienced yet and the feeling of the (awesome!) unknown and how you're going to conquer it is probably one of the best in the world -- right up there with the "Damn, I just sealed that business deal!" feeling and the "Damn, I look like a million bucks in my new dress and heels and just saw my ex-boyfriend wince in the corner!" feeling. 

The unknown is always exciting but there was something even better about walking around Hong Kong for me than that: it was like seeing everything I had heard about as a child come to life; a fairy tale come true. All the exotic tales of my childhood were suddenly living and breathing and it was beyond fantastic. As some one who adores cities, Asia is like the mecca of all mega-cities. The sheer amount of infrastructure and the pace at which it multiplies is a marvel in itself. It's progress at it's quickest speed and just to look around in the city can inspire one into pro-activity. It's state-of -the-art mind-boggling architecture next to old-world slummy apartments. It's slick, sterile, brand new malls surrounding shantytown-like markets. It's the newest Lamborghini speeding through the streets while rickshaws pace themselves along pedestrians. Old and new mesh seamlessly in Asia and especially in Hong Kong. I had the biggest urge to just reach out and touch everything when there for the first time as an adult, to take it all in and assure myself that yes, this endearingly noisy and perpetually crowded land was in fact real. 

A quick hint for all of you non-Asians or Canadian-born Asians who plan on traveling to the East: if you're not going to try new things, don't bother. I'm mainly speaking of food here because the food is...orgasmic. I haven't been back since becoming meatless and I can imagine it to be somewhat of a form of torture to be there and not be able to indulge in all the delicacies that waft from every corner. Everything that sounds weird or disgusting is usually the tastiest, and if you let your preconceived notions of what usually makes for good food stand in the way -- well you're missing out. Get rid of the overly-sterilized, overly-packaged Western notion of pizza and burgers food and dive right into preserved sausages, congee (rice soup) with duck egg and fish, beautifully fluffy egg tarts, hot-pot style meals, and a array of animal innards that, no matter how lovingly I describe, will just sound unappealing. To experience Hong Kong is to take it all in, visually and through its vast edibility. To get past the initial gross factor is to understand why the Chinese eat like this; they lust after certain textures and flavors now matter where from. Something I dearly miss in Toronto are Chinese desserts. Sure we have the little pastries that dole out sweet buns and whatnot, but in Hong Kong there are entire restaurants devoted to mango tapioca puddings, sweet lotus seed pastes and tofu done so delicately sweet you hardly know it's tofu. 

Foodie ogling is a great part of the city -- almost as good as the night life. New York may be the city that never sleeps, but I've walked around Hong Kong at 4 in the morning only to just realize it's the middle of the night because everything is still lit up and paved over. Unlike here in Toronto, you can go to the same club night after night and it's an entirely new crowd. Not just new, but vastly international. It's models in town for a couple months from America, business men from Europe, expats from the world over and locals. It's beyond refreshing to be meeting people who have incredibly different lives that the one you've lived and an easy way to meet them is out and about in the nightlife scene. The internationality of it all also attracts top-billing when it comes to club entertainment (no, not that kind!) with top DJ's like Guetta and Aoki ensuring the city stays in a perma-stage of dance fever. For those who worship house music like I do, it's a definite pro since the last time I tried to catch Guetta in Toronto, I was packed more tightly into ex-club Circa's "VIP" area than fat sardines in a too-small tin. If there's no room to dance, what's the point? ...Exactly. Hong Kong's nightlife is legendary in its variety but not cohesive enough in image to have generated a lifestyle, like for example Nikki Beach in St. Tropez. It's variety I'm on the hunt for right now -- or you know, a chance to see Guetta where I don't get hit in the face with badly done bleached extensions every time I want to bust a move!
Hong Kong is just one of the many cities I've been to in Asia and there are a countless number more I have yet to visit. Experiencing the new is essential to..well everything! If you don't know everything that's out there, how are you supposed to make decisions about what you want? Oh, it's like Biggie rapped ever-so-wisely all those years ago: and if you don't know, now you know! I'm sure he wasn't referring to my escapades around the world, but his words have meaning when it comes to experiences of anything you haven't before.

The Hong Kong skyline...just beautiful!

I can hardly wait to hop on a plane again and arrive in a world I know nothing about but want to dive into. Until then, I'll have to settle for being excited by the sight of rice crackers (chopsticks, Pocky sticks, Sailor Moon, you name it, it's all doing the trick right now!) and know that soon enough, I'll be blogging from across the world.
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