OMFG - The Scariest Part of Your Twenties..

As my brother, the last of my siblings, moved out of our parents home this week, I came to the horrifying realization that this was it. My sister, myself and now my brother were all officially adults. Little birdies no more...we had flown the coop and entered the air sans safety net.

Okay, okay, I feel like throughout my twenties thus far I've had freakouts about becoming an adult at least on a bi-monthly basis. Bi-weekly is more like it. But there's something about all three of us being there that struck a particularly realistic chord. Perhaps the scariest realization about being an adult is that the only person you can count on is yourself. I mean this in the least desolate and dramatic way possible -- of course we all have good friends and family there to help us in a true bind but being self-sufficient is, in my humble opinion anyway, a sign of maturity.

The hardest lesson I've learned thus far in this precocious decade? To bank on yourself. And mean it. With a job that has all the security of iCloud (read: none) and an affinity for a life with ample flexibility and wonder, my stability levels are entirely dependent on one thing: me, myself and I.

Promoting is one of those jobs that should come with a slogan ripped right from MTV Diary Of.. "You think you know but you have no idea." I chuckle at those who think all it requires is showing up for a few hours a couple times a week to drink vodka and bop around in the booth. This lovely condo and YSL heels didn't come from bopping. What started out as shits and giggles working for my former business partner as essentially a party girl turned into a quick realization of what could be made here and thus the Risk pieces on the King West board that is my life started to form. That was four years ago. And even today, while established on the scene, it is still a constant hustle and grind to stay relevant and in demand.

How hard you grind is directly correlated to how well things go. An obvious statement? Yes. But one that only turns into a stable means when you know you have what it takes. This is applicable to all careers whether it be the perpetual hustling path that I chose to take or more conventional routes I know many of my friends to be on. I've learned to not freak out as much knowing that I can depend on myself even though my only security system is my laptop, phone, and whatever I choose to do with them. Four years of ups and downs and lessons and learning and perspective and yes, even more freakouts, have led to finally being able to bank on myself. Being my own security system? I'll take that over iCloud any day.

Surely there will be plenty of dips and dives while we're out here flying but having that added twenty-something faith in yourself sure does make the ride less turbulent. Up, up and away dear readers! x 

OMFG - The Moody Blues

Have you ever had one of those days where you just don't want to get out of bed? Either it's because you're tired from a busy work week, feeling plain lazy or, let's face it -- are probably mildly to severely hungover based on the events of the night before. We've all had those days, especially when fluffy duvet covers, silky pillows and freshly laundered sheets are involved. Now how about one of those days where you just can't get out of bed? It's not because you're physically unable too from fatigue or are so hungover the task of walking seems impossible, but rather because it seems pointless, hopeless, or meaningless. Your bed is no longer a throne of dreams and comfort but a sluggish welt in your room that is pulling you into masses of heavy blankets instead of being able to breathe fresh air. If you've ever felt the latter, even to a small degree, then you're probably familiar with some form of mild depression.

This isn't a PSA about the signs and treatments for such a disease, but rather a simple post about how we, as twenty-somethings, are prone to experiencing symptoms of it in our own unique way. I will admit that I've experienced bouts of panic, anxiety and the blues throughout my years. Yes, I'm a highly functioning social person who is, for the most part, a happy person, but also a highly emotional and complicated being who doesn't always have ration and logic. My hypersensitivity leaves it so that I am often bothered by things that shouldn't bother me, and I am at times left to wonder why everyone else seems so fine with things that I just can't seem to get past. I've had days where I feel so tired and weighed down for no reason at all, cannot stop crying, and feel useless. While such episodes are usually spurred by emotional reactions to relationship issues and whatnot, they were occurring enough that I've looked into therapy several times. The first time I never got around to it, and the second time the therapist told me at our first visit that "it doesn't really seem like you need to be in therapy." Um, excuse me? Reassuring I suppose in some ways, but also frustrating in that I felt not depressed enough that I could be diagnosed and treated, but affected enough that it made life difficult a lot of the time.

Being in your twenties is hard. Wonderful in a sense that yes, we are relatively carefree (not many of us have kids to worry about yet, broken hips and other health issues that hit later on and are young enough to still be able to party until 5am and be up for work at 9), and the world is ours for the taking, but hard nonetheless. It's when we're supposed to figure out our entire lives career-wise, romantically, and financially all the while figuring out just who we are. It is the most uncertain decade in every which way for us and this can lead to everything that I know I've personally gone through.

Let's not take this too lightly. If you're sitting in bed eating a tub of ice cream and crying to your girlfriends on the phone about another failed relationship, you're not depressed. If you're down on yourself and cancel on a bro's night because you didn't get that promotion you thought you had in the bag at work, you're not depressed. And if you're worried that your weight is up 3 pounds and that's why that other chick landed that magazine cover and not you, you're not depressed. Yes, being in our twenties has trials and tribulations like all decades, but it's only if they affect you deep down, in a sense that they're issues ice cream and a night in can't solve...well that's when you should perhaps seek help. If they affect you to a point that you feel you can't function on a day to day level, that's when a little warning buzzer should be ringing in your head.

What seems to be a good system, for me at least, is recognizing when a blue episode is on its way. I know what my warning signs are, and when I see one or two pop up, I become proactive in reversing them. Whether it be through talking to a loved one, becoming physically active or keeping busy, it all helps to hopefully avoid the downfall all together. Acknowledging the things that upset you in life and how they affect you is a crucial way to making sure such factors don't reoccur.

Mental issues are hard to acknowledge and at times even harder to reach out and get help for. Since there are no physical symptoms, the severity of such issues are murky waters. Nothing is more frustrating than trying to convince some one of your feelings and being dismissed as simply "moody". What I do know is that the people who tell you to simply "buck up" or that "it's just a phase and you'll get over it" probably haven't experienced it themselves. I trust my instinct like no other and know when I'm feeling something, I'm feeling it and no amount of partying, or other distractions will take my mind off of it. (Although partying sure does help some times...) So my point of this somewhat somber post is, my dear blogees, that the moody blues have a tendency to hit even the best and brightest of us in our twenties. Dealing with it, no matter how mild or severe is up to you. Staying happy and being well sure beat gray skies and tears, now doesn't it?
x

For references and where to find help:
Depression Meetings
Counseling Services
Recognizing Symptoms

OMFG -- Promo-whoring 101

Between the posting, tweeting, blogging and bbming, I'm surprised any of us have time for breathing! Social media has allowed anyone with half an ego and a little bit of talent to become their own self-promotional media sensation. I'm a self-admitted Facebook fanatic and Crackberry addict (my Blackberry battery lasts a half-day on average. I travel with the charger in my purse....seriously.), and have learned with time how easily connections made online can equal real life opportunities. So, how does one balance personal with promotional? There's a fine line between keeping the interest of your followers (Twitter-speak, not cult-speak for those of you out of the loop) and having the online personality of cardboard.

To preface, I am by no means a media mogul when it comes to social networking. I try and keep Facebook to modeling and party pictures, because let's face it, no one's interested in seeing uploads of me, say waking up in the morning or anything else routine. However, being the emotionally exploding person that I am (it's touching on the best of days and downright neurotic with a dab of maudlin on the worst) I tend to catch myself emotionally binging on the site via cryptic statuses and whatnot every now and then. Usually such trivial posts get deleted once I come to my senses, but if some one were to creep my account constantly, I'm sure they could put together a nice little timeline of my emotional episodes. (That, by the way,  is by no means encouragement. Girls are moody bitches. Get used to it.) That being said, I am observant of those who have perfectly poised yet endlessly entertaining and most importantly genuinely expressed profiles which in today's world can be powerful tools of opportunity.

First things first: nobody cares about your personal life. Until you reach levels of popularity that those fame-whoring Kardashian sisters will envy, it's safe to say that the general online public, excluding friends (if that...let's be honest.) does not give a darn about who you're dating or why you're cutting up pictures and sniffling to Bruno Mars. If you're anything like me, or worse, and just cannot help emotional vomiting all over that little blue and white screen, it's best to keep Facebook for personal friends and another online account for professional matters.
Whether you're a DJ, model, PR rep or other persona where personal promotion is an asset, thinking successful is undoubtedly part of the journey to being successful. In other words, every action you participate in that deals with your job is something worth posting. Whether it be a behind-the-scenes shot of you getting your make-up done, or a rough demo recording of an upcoming track, if it's of interest to your product, it's of interest to your online image. The busier you are the better -- the most interesting news-feeds to me are the ones where there is a constant momentum towards new ideas. Or, to put it bluntly, the news-feeds of those who get shit done and get it done fast.
Last of all, share what makes you happy. If you're in the right field, this should overlap with your passion anyways and thus make it easy to promote your professional self. But random things, like hilarious moments you've somehow captured with the click of your Torch or a snap of anything else that triggers a smile or thought are ways to inflict personality in your posts. Obvious as this sounds, there are countless of self-promoting individuals out there who have remarkably boring updates despite being immensely talented at what they do. No one wants to follow Promoter Cardboard of the online world because chances are his parties are just as droll.

My own Twitter account has been dormant for almost a year now --- I'm about the take my own advice and prep for a relaunch! You'll be seeing me in your virtual worlds darling bloggees...and if you're promo-savvy I'll see you in mine!
x

Kids? Adults? OMFG...What are we?!

An article that has been making the rounds lately among my social networking sites (Yes, I got Facebook back. I just have no will power when it comes to online over-sharing.) is about the next generation of twenty-somethings and how they're different from previous ones, published in the New York Times. It's an insightful and interesting read basically laying out the argument that youth in their twenties nowadays are pushing back the usual steps taken to reach adulthood, such as marriage, kids, being financially independent, and are instead choosing in favor of longer schooling, travel, and an overall mission to find themselves before adulthood and real-life responsibilities being.
Check it out here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/magazine/22Adulthood-t.html?_r=3&pagewanted=1&src=tptw
Well, after reading that article, and then skimming over my last blog post on right-brained thinking and endless possibilities, I let out a long "Ohhhh crap." I fit into this so-called "emerging adulthood" category to a tee...and so do most of my friends right now. Blame it on our privileged upbringings, blame it on the immense pressure there is on twenty-somethings to fulfill every aspect of their lives now in order to be happy later, and blame it on the recession, but however you put it, this generation is a walking, talking, traveling, advertisement for "emerging adulthood".
Some of the reason for this trend can of course be attributed to the changing times. Society demands different things of its youth as technology and social norms progress. I know I don't feel the need to pop out kids any time soon, partially because in middle school they made us watch a very informative but through my adolescent eyes, disgusting and horrific video called "The Miracle of Life", and partially because I know there are options out there for women choosing to have kids later on in life, such as adoption, surrogates, and fertility aids. (Although right now to be perfectly honest, the most I can picture myself with is a puppy or two, if that. Thank you, preventative sex education in middle school. Seriously, just the grossest video ever.) Couples living together without the need for marriage is widely accepted nowadays and premarital sex is, well let's just say you'd get stranger looks if you said you were against it than for it. These are but a few of the norms that have bended in regulation vastly over the last couple decades and have allowed us twenty-somethings to live in limbo for a little longer.
The big question is: is it all worth it? Does taking longer to reach adulthood ensure that the lives we live thereafter are happier and what we truly want? Having the answer to this would be like saying you had the answer to what the purpose of life is. There really is no one answer, you just have to live through it. I definitely believe in taking the time to find out exactly who you are and what makes you thrive in life before saddling yourself into any sort of norm, such as a marriage, a career-long job or a permanent location. However the ability for me to do so has its implications....I'm 23 at the moment and after 4 years of living on my own for school, I'm back at home. My parents are kind enough to be okay with this (That might be an understatement....my mom is ecstatic to have her kids home at this age -- she intercepts me with hugs every time I try and beeline for the fridge, the door, the stairs, etc.) but to know that I'm taking away instead of adding to their financial situation does not exactly sit well with me. Also, this time to see exactly what I want in the world has left me feeling a wee bit...unprepared. There's a part of me that's itching to throw myself into another city (New York!) just to see if I can  make it as an adult. This prolonged adolescence has created a generation of childish twenty-somethings...myself included. I feel ill-equipped in many ways to tackle the daunting real world mainly because I've never really had to. Living on my "own" during school was within the bubble of university and within the same city where I grew up. I think part of why I'm itching is because I crave the independence generations before us had; whether I'm ready for it or not, only experience and time will tell. What justifies the stage of "emerging adulthood", for me personally, is that the one thing I'm sure of is the momentum in my life. There's undoubtedly a forward motion to where things are headed for me in recent months in my post-university era, and it's this push towards whatever it is and wherever it is I am supposed to be that keeps me calm in knowing I'm on the right track. Everyday I wake up ready to tackle the world and I'm positive that if I keep tackling, something great is just around the corner.
Ah, this mentality, another symptom of the generation, is, as the article dubs it a somewhat romantic optimism in the "sense of possibility". While the article paints this notion as being somewhat naive, it's something I believe in because I've seen it work. It's worked for me, for my close friends, for people I love, but it's only there if you're open to it. Gone are the days when the only way to climb the ladder in life was through a series of predetermined steps: now all one needs is a chance meeting with the right person, and the ability to be your own resume one hundred percent of the time. Being the best possible version of yourself as much as possible isn't just for your own self-worth and happiness...it's an undeniable asset for your professional life. I've done some of my best networking while out and about in the city, day or night, meeting like-minded people with no other explanation than we recognized something of interest in one another. Simply making yourself available to these opportunities is perhaps the most important step.
At 23, the only thing I can say for sure about myself thus far is that I'm a romantic who places a lot (maybe even too much) value on love. What I want to do with my life exactly and how I want to live it in the decades to come...well those are only vague ideas swirling around in my over-active brain right now. Travel, art, love, family, friends, progress, style, and connections are all ideas of importance to me; but how these abstracts will become concrete is something I have another couple years to figure out.
Twenty-something Jennifer is quoted in the article as saying: "It’s somewhat terrifying to think about all the things I’m supposed to be doing in order to ‘get somewhere’ successful: ‘Follow your passions, live your dreams, take risks, network with the right people, find mentors, be financially responsible, volunteer, work, think about or go to grad school, fall in love and maintain personal well-being, mental health and nutrition.’ When is there time to just be and enjoy?” 
The time to "just be and enjoy" is now for me, and I owe it to myself, my good fortune at being given such an amazing opportunity, and my future to dive into my endless possibilities head first and without the slightest bit of doubt that I'll emerge more sure of myself than ever. 
Everything Jennifer listed is valid...but only one stands out in my mind: to all you twenty-somethings out there as lost as I am, follow your passions as tirelessly as possible and the rest of your happiness, whatever it may be, will be sure to come.
x

Think & Feel...OMFG.

If I had to describe myself in two words they would be a romantic realist. The combination of being utterly, dreamily, romantic yet fully aware of the limitations of the real world makes for a somewhat conflicting existence for me: mainly one where I know better but have to feel things out on my own anyways. As I'm sure any of you can tell just by reading a few of my posts, I'm observant, logical and practical except when it comes to anything involving my heart...well, then I'm just hopeless.
The romantic part of me is very much right-brained: a creative artist who sees the world through rose-colored lenses, while the realist in me is left-brained: entirely logical and practical. Whereas the professional world was once dominated by those who are more so left-brained (Think white-collar class with multiple post-graduate degrees) there's been a shift towards valuing right-brained people in recent years. (Think artists who don't have to live off canned goods while inhabiting dirty lofts in pre-gentrified neighborhoods).
And thank goodness for this apparent shift because heavens knows I would be miserable if I had to rely on my left-brain to carry out my career chained to the helm of a desk in some monotonous office building crunching numbers or something just as static! Obviously there's still a need for left-brained individuals (I don't want some artsy-fartsy performing brain surgery on me, or anyone else I know), but the appreciation for artistic skills once seen as hobbies more or less, is carving out a spot for creative persons everywhere.
Painting, styling, decorating, and more are proving to be profitable careers for many and I couldn't be happier. Nowadays, it's sheer individual ambition that drives individuals and twenty-somethings are holding off their transitions into adulthood enticed by the seemingly endless possibilities out there. I've especially noticed this change in the fashion world as more and more people I meet are relying on being stylists, photographers, and overall media moguls as their sole way of making a living.
Of course it is not just artistic skill that is of value, but the emotional aspects that go hand-in-hand with them as well. Characteristics such as empathy and compassion are making their way into the market and not everything is as black and white as numbers and charts...and I think it's about time.
As some one who advocates emotions (that's putting is mildly) it's so refreshing to see how such feelings can be an asset to my professional life instead of a weakness. This, paired with my logicalness, will hopefully be the key to success for finding a job that I wake up everyday excited to go to! I think where this plays the most important role is in the connection between whatever market you're attempting to sell to and yourself as an individual. Being able to know that a person is not just a faceless entity and probably some one who has gone through a lot of what you have will only enhance one's ability to connect with them on whatever level necessary. What a beautiful way to do business, in my opinion at least! It's a time where by exposing your art, your craft, your skill and passion, means your client will come to you through resonating with whatever vibe you're putting out there.
I've always been confident in my skill as an artist and as a feeler (for lack of a better word. An emotion junkie? A sappy romanticist? A heart over header? Let's just stick to feeler.). I know I can write, I know I can paint, I know I have style and a way of connecting to others through empathy...and it's nice to know that the world may have confidence in me now as well. For all you out there who are lost in their twenties, struggling to decide just how you're going to find a place for yourself in this crowded world, take comfort in knowing that now, more than ever, you can be successful not just through one path, but through endless means of infinite possibilities.
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