I've written two posts on the art of clubbing with ease for girls (See Part One and Part Two here in case you missed them..) but what about guys? Let's face it, for girls, if you're dolled up, rolling through lines and straight to the bottles is easy. (And if it isn't, again, I refer you to my oh-so-helpful guides here and here) But what about as a man?
First things first. This need not apply should you be one of two things. The first? Rolling in it. If you have money to throw down and still can't find a way to ball, there is no hope for you. Go home. As for you successful ballers, we'll see you inside. The second? Gays in the scene. You stylish, beautiful unicorns are welcome at all clubs. At least in my experience, anyway.
Speaking of which, what does my experience consist of that gives me the authority to be writing such a guide in the first place? Schooled from fifteen on in the old entertainment district, graduated to King West appropriately at nineteen, then transitioned into a promoter subsequently after getting my inevitable party girl training. That was four years ago. I'm obviously not the be all and end all word of what's what but ample nights out can at least allow me share some of my party/promoter wisdom with you. Shall we?
- Be chill with other dudes.
Perhaps the most important of rules for the every-man in a club setting. What is it, exactly, about high rates of alcohol consumption and the male gender that makes them think every dude out there is trying to cut down their ego? Listen. As a girl, I don't give much of a crap about your ego so I highly doubt all the other dudes in the club do either. We're all here to have fun, after all. Don't be the dude who gets all territorial when another guy gets in the booth. Don't be the dude who has to macho up a level when another guy talks to the girls he's trying to mac. It's the club equivalent of flailing out a peacock's feathers and looks twice as dumb. Being chill is the key to effortlessly moving 1) in and out of booths and 2) getting in good with girls an/or people who matter. Just. Chillllll.
- Always offer.
I know that Toronto girls often come off as entitled, jaded bitches who simply do not have time to listen to what you say unless it's about what color you can possibly make the bottom of their heels. (Hint: it's red) Nonetheless, the ones who aren't in said category (i.e. the ones you'd actually like to get to know) are worth offering to buy drinks for. Even as a model/promoter who has her own bottles at her disposal on the regular, there is no nicer gesture at a packed night out than a man offering to take me to the bar for some much-needed non-self-serving libation. Guys who do join a booth and offer to pitch on promoter bottles are also much appreciated. We will always say no. But you'll look classy as fuck offering. The classic gentlemanly act of the offer; it's the anti-assumption.
- Have fun.
You'd think this would be an obvious one! Nothing lights up my cold little jaded promoter heart more than when I see guys (and girls, for that matter) just letting loose. Seriously. You might even catch a smile skip along my standard expression of resting bitch face. Now I don't mean ratchet dancing to impress the other sex, I mean actually just breaking it down however you would dance when you're alone at home and your jam comes on. Flailing arms. Excited yells. You get the gist. I remember I once saw some guy absolutely lose his shit when Turn Down For What came on -- dropped his drink, face lit up and literally cleared the dance floor to do some goofy dance. It was awesome. In comparison to all the other guys who are stone-faced and looking around like a predator lurks for prey, having fun never looked so good.
- Grab not.
If I had a dollar for every hand I shoved off me while out and about, I'd be a wealthy, wealthy woman. Fine, fine, I suppose we can excuse an inebriated hand grab here and there (we get it, you're wasted and the best option really did seem like reaching out and going for it) but anything else, quite frankly, is gross. I kid you not, I once got grabbed by the throat while making my way through a crowded club. Alarming? Yes. Scarily so. While that's an extreme case, all I'm saying is be a good dude and you know, maybe not grab that ass because it's in front of you. Guiding a girl through a club because it's crowded is lovely. Anything else, eh, not so much.
Well there you have it -- just the modest opinions of one promoter to the male masses. Be chill. Have fun. Don't be creepy. That's pretty much it. See all you men, boys, gentlemen and everything in between out and about. x
First things first. This need not apply should you be one of two things. The first? Rolling in it. If you have money to throw down and still can't find a way to ball, there is no hope for you. Go home. As for you successful ballers, we'll see you inside. The second? Gays in the scene. You stylish, beautiful unicorns are welcome at all clubs. At least in my experience, anyway.
Speaking of which, what does my experience consist of that gives me the authority to be writing such a guide in the first place? Schooled from fifteen on in the old entertainment district, graduated to King West appropriately at nineteen, then transitioned into a promoter subsequently after getting my inevitable party girl training. That was four years ago. I'm obviously not the be all and end all word of what's what but ample nights out can at least allow me share some of my party/promoter wisdom with you. Shall we?
- Be chill with other dudes.
Perhaps the most important of rules for the every-man in a club setting. What is it, exactly, about high rates of alcohol consumption and the male gender that makes them think every dude out there is trying to cut down their ego? Listen. As a girl, I don't give much of a crap about your ego so I highly doubt all the other dudes in the club do either. We're all here to have fun, after all. Don't be the dude who gets all territorial when another guy gets in the booth. Don't be the dude who has to macho up a level when another guy talks to the girls he's trying to mac. It's the club equivalent of flailing out a peacock's feathers and looks twice as dumb. Being chill is the key to effortlessly moving 1) in and out of booths and 2) getting in good with girls an/or people who matter. Just. Chillllll.
- Always offer.
I know that Toronto girls often come off as entitled, jaded bitches who simply do not have time to listen to what you say unless it's about what color you can possibly make the bottom of their heels. (Hint: it's red) Nonetheless, the ones who aren't in said category (i.e. the ones you'd actually like to get to know) are worth offering to buy drinks for. Even as a model/promoter who has her own bottles at her disposal on the regular, there is no nicer gesture at a packed night out than a man offering to take me to the bar for some much-needed non-self-serving libation. Guys who do join a booth and offer to pitch on promoter bottles are also much appreciated. We will always say no. But you'll look classy as fuck offering. The classic gentlemanly act of the offer; it's the anti-assumption.
- Have fun.
You'd think this would be an obvious one! Nothing lights up my cold little jaded promoter heart more than when I see guys (and girls, for that matter) just letting loose. Seriously. You might even catch a smile skip along my standard expression of resting bitch face. Now I don't mean ratchet dancing to impress the other sex, I mean actually just breaking it down however you would dance when you're alone at home and your jam comes on. Flailing arms. Excited yells. You get the gist. I remember I once saw some guy absolutely lose his shit when Turn Down For What came on -- dropped his drink, face lit up and literally cleared the dance floor to do some goofy dance. It was awesome. In comparison to all the other guys who are stone-faced and looking around like a predator lurks for prey, having fun never looked so good.
- Grab not.
If I had a dollar for every hand I shoved off me while out and about, I'd be a wealthy, wealthy woman. Fine, fine, I suppose we can excuse an inebriated hand grab here and there (we get it, you're wasted and the best option really did seem like reaching out and going for it) but anything else, quite frankly, is gross. I kid you not, I once got grabbed by the throat while making my way through a crowded club. Alarming? Yes. Scarily so. While that's an extreme case, all I'm saying is be a good dude and you know, maybe not grab that ass because it's in front of you. Guiding a girl through a club because it's crowded is lovely. Anything else, eh, not so much.
Well there you have it -- just the modest opinions of one promoter to the male masses. Be chill. Have fun. Don't be creepy. That's pretty much it. See all you men, boys, gentlemen and everything in between out and about. x
