My good friend Daniela and I often share our woes of the dating scene in our mid-twenties. No longer naively optimistic teens looking for puppy love nor horridly jaded (...yet) we both agree that it's fun for the most part, but a little tiring at others. "They're like job interviews with cocktails!" Daniela often remarks about first dates. And sadly, I'd have to agree. By the time you're twentysomething, it's inevitable to have accumulated a fair amount of dating "experience", shall we say. And by "experience" I mean a whole lot of emotional baggage. Unless you're a robot, totally prude or incredibly sheltered, chances are that you've either had your heart broken, or done the breaking. Many of us are in self-protect mode at this age and that's why first dates can be interrogation-like...it's all about sniffing out the other person's baggage.
Pessimistic sounding, sure, but as some one who definitely fits into the category of hopeless romantic, baggage doesn't have to be anymore more than a little bump in the road. It's been noted (by friends of mine -- over and over again) that a characteristic of mine is to not give up on people. Sure, it's sounds all lovely and endearing in words, but in actuality it has proven to be draining and not always for the best. Sticking around way after the expiry date of a relationship, when it's gone not just bad but awfully rotten, simply for the sake of trying to help some one who clearly does not want it, is not an ideal situation for anyone. So with that in mind I give my baggage advice with warning: only attempt to take on baggage you know you can handle. Hopelessly romantic I may be, but naive? Nuh-uh.
And, as with everything else in life, a bit of honesty goes a long way. No, no, no, this doesn't mean word vomiting after meeting some one of interest a couple times, or letting it all out when wasted, but simply answering things as they come up. Honestly. (For the record, I'm personally all for drunken emotional talks, but experience has proven the general consensus is a resounding nay. See? Hopeless.) It's the difference between fudging the answer of questions about your past and admitting that no, your dating history isn't perfect. Perfection is for the for the boring anyways...give me complicated, layered and mysterious any day of the week. If Adele can make a career of singing about it, surely it's not all that bad.
Acknowledging flaws of the dating world keeps it resoundingly on the fun as opposed to the tiring side. Interesting people, interesting places and interesting things (so interesting nouns, basically..) never cease to keep things, well, interesting! And who knows, the next fun fling you have might just turn into some one who makes your baggage feel not as heavy. Happy dating, darling bloggees!
x
And for days when you just need a little Adele release...after all, anyone with iTunes and a heart does it!
Monday, November 21, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
The Afterparty....OMFG
There's a little ritual that happens every week when I'm out with friends at a club. The bass gets softer, the bottles are face down in the ice buckets and everyone starts to get a little restless. My friends and I exchange sheepish glances and it's clear to everyone that even though the venue is closing down, our night is far from over. And thus begins the search for the after party. Oh, the after party! In a city where last call is a relatively early 2 a.m. (In Montreal, we'd all be less motivated after a good extra hour of drinking, and in NYC, being up until the sunrise is usually a given..) the search for the after party is a regularly occurring ritual for nights out. Over my years out and about on the scene I've seen them all...from sketchy iron-barred hole-in-the-walls on Spadina, to three story penthouses overlooking the water, and everything in between.
It begins with texting. You message your friends who are out and about across the city and see who is willing to volunteer their desirable digs to have people over. If it's not a friend, then it's a friend of a friend. Or, more likely, a dude who knows the neighbor of a friend of a friend of a friend, but is totally loaded and just wants to have a good time. And in the hours after 2 a.m., that's really the common goal here: having a good time. That pursuit of (temporary) happiness as it may be is what brings together the most random assortment of people. I've walked into after parties only to notice after a few minutes that aside from the people I've shown up with, I recognize absolutely no one there. I've also walked into after parties and right back out because there have been more than a few people I would rather not spend time with. Unless I know the owner of the house personally or am the instigator of the shady shindig, it's a lotto game when it comes to the crowd: everyone from my good friends, to industry, to drug dealers, to loose gold-diggers and hipsters. (I'll let you decide just how many of those categories overlap. Clue? Too many.)
Those that are in couples, have office jobs in the early morning or scheduled end-times in their heads to their night need not apply to the after party process. Sure, there are exceptions to every rule (and as half of a couple who used to party hard with her ex, I'll share this: it's fun at first to have a boyfriend/partner in crime, but when you're serious with some one, you just want to hang out alone at 4a.m.) The after party is for those who went out looking for something and aren't satisfied by the time the club dies down -- whether it be a bootycall, riding out the rest of a high, or simply a desire to connect with some one new, we're all looking for something, or some one, when we make our way into the next dimly lit premise.
Sketchiness aside, I've had some amazing times at after parties, which probably happen more than I'd like to admit. What makes the difference for me between sketchiness and sketchy good times is the company; and fortunately I'm always armed with a pretty awesome crew of friends and solid people. That's another goal one can have when it comes to after hours: it doesn't have to be about sex or drugs, but simply just extending a good night out with friends. Fun, friends, and just a little bit of scandal....the perfect mix for after parties in our lovely city. Happy hunting fellow nightcrawlers!
x
It begins with texting. You message your friends who are out and about across the city and see who is willing to volunteer their desirable digs to have people over. If it's not a friend, then it's a friend of a friend. Or, more likely, a dude who knows the neighbor of a friend of a friend of a friend, but is totally loaded and just wants to have a good time. And in the hours after 2 a.m., that's really the common goal here: having a good time. That pursuit of (temporary) happiness as it may be is what brings together the most random assortment of people. I've walked into after parties only to notice after a few minutes that aside from the people I've shown up with, I recognize absolutely no one there. I've also walked into after parties and right back out because there have been more than a few people I would rather not spend time with. Unless I know the owner of the house personally or am the instigator of the shady shindig, it's a lotto game when it comes to the crowd: everyone from my good friends, to industry, to drug dealers, to loose gold-diggers and hipsters. (I'll let you decide just how many of those categories overlap. Clue? Too many.)
Those that are in couples, have office jobs in the early morning or scheduled end-times in their heads to their night need not apply to the after party process. Sure, there are exceptions to every rule (and as half of a couple who used to party hard with her ex, I'll share this: it's fun at first to have a boyfriend/partner in crime, but when you're serious with some one, you just want to hang out alone at 4a.m.) The after party is for those who went out looking for something and aren't satisfied by the time the club dies down -- whether it be a bootycall, riding out the rest of a high, or simply a desire to connect with some one new, we're all looking for something, or some one, when we make our way into the next dimly lit premise.
Sketchiness aside, I've had some amazing times at after parties, which probably happen more than I'd like to admit. What makes the difference for me between sketchiness and sketchy good times is the company; and fortunately I'm always armed with a pretty awesome crew of friends and solid people. That's another goal one can have when it comes to after hours: it doesn't have to be about sex or drugs, but simply just extending a good night out with friends. Fun, friends, and just a little bit of scandal....the perfect mix for after parties in our lovely city. Happy hunting fellow nightcrawlers!
x
Friday, November 4, 2011
OMFG - Make Me Up
There are some girls who are naturally great with make-up. You know the ones I'm talking about; they can mix palettes, know the differences between mouse foundations and powder ones and where that fine line is between a glamorously well-made face and an all-out tranny look. My older sister was one of these girls, and when we were teens, I used to beg her to apply my make-up for any special events I had to go to. I, on the other hand, have never known what to do with a millions of make-up products I've purchased throughout the years. On a day to day basis I use foundation and eye liner and that's about it. It's not that I wouldn't wear more during the day time, it's that I honestly don't know how to without coming across as someone who face-planted onto a still-wet painting....or Christina Aguilera.
My lack of beauty knowledge miffs many, as they assume that as a model, I should also have a working skill of make-up application. Wrong. Models are simply the blank canvases that extremely talented make-up artists do their work upon. It's how I go from a relatively low-key twenty-something to a sexy lingerie vamp, delicate geisha, or whatever else the theme of the shoot happens to be. I've come to have a great appreciate for these artists as it really takes skill and creativity to be able to work with faces of all different races and walks of beauty. (I've also come to realize that some are better than at Asian faces than others....Asian models don't always have to look like geishas, FYI. And geishas are Japanese not across the board Asian...anyways, I digress.)
I've attempted to amp up my beauty skills lately, just for the fun of it and was introduced to a great line of videos by two make-up artists I've worked with several times! So, for any of you girls out there who are as clueless as yours truly when it comes to make-up, brush up on your skills!
Christine Cho and I worked an event over a year ago and bonded over mutual Asian gripes about the industry, going out, and more. We've been great friends since then and I can safely say that when I get married, Christine will be doing my make-up! She's well-established and even appears on the Steven and Chris Show as their beauty expert! Check out her line of videos on everything from natural beauty (my personal make-up philosophy) and a helpful video on everyday five-minute make-up!
Another make-up artists I've worked with many times is Amanda Blair. With her rocker-style and tons of experience despite being young (Seriously. I'm more than a few years older than her..) the shoots we've done have always been edgy and fun! Amanda has her own line of videos which dole out great tips on glamorous styles for going out.
Enjoy glamouristas!
x
My lack of beauty knowledge miffs many, as they assume that as a model, I should also have a working skill of make-up application. Wrong. Models are simply the blank canvases that extremely talented make-up artists do their work upon. It's how I go from a relatively low-key twenty-something to a sexy lingerie vamp, delicate geisha, or whatever else the theme of the shoot happens to be. I've come to have a great appreciate for these artists as it really takes skill and creativity to be able to work with faces of all different races and walks of beauty. (I've also come to realize that some are better than at Asian faces than others....Asian models don't always have to look like geishas, FYI. And geishas are Japanese not across the board Asian...anyways, I digress.)
I've attempted to amp up my beauty skills lately, just for the fun of it and was introduced to a great line of videos by two make-up artists I've worked with several times! So, for any of you girls out there who are as clueless as yours truly when it comes to make-up, brush up on your skills!
Christine Cho and I worked an event over a year ago and bonded over mutual Asian gripes about the industry, going out, and more. We've been great friends since then and I can safely say that when I get married, Christine will be doing my make-up! She's well-established and even appears on the Steven and Chris Show as their beauty expert! Check out her line of videos on everything from natural beauty (my personal make-up philosophy) and a helpful video on everyday five-minute make-up!
Another make-up artists I've worked with many times is Amanda Blair. With her rocker-style and tons of experience despite being young (Seriously. I'm more than a few years older than her..) the shoots we've done have always been edgy and fun! Amanda has her own line of videos which dole out great tips on glamorous styles for going out.
Enjoy glamouristas!
x
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