OMFG - The Scariest Part of Your Twenties..

As my brother, the last of my siblings, moved out of our parents home this week, I came to the horrifying realization that this was it. My sister, myself and now my brother were all officially adults. Little birdies no more...we had flown the coop and entered the air sans safety net.

Okay, okay, I feel like throughout my twenties thus far I've had freakouts about becoming an adult at least on a bi-monthly basis. Bi-weekly is more like it. But there's something about all three of us being there that struck a particularly realistic chord. Perhaps the scariest realization about being an adult is that the only person you can count on is yourself. I mean this in the least desolate and dramatic way possible -- of course we all have good friends and family there to help us in a true bind but being self-sufficient is, in my humble opinion anyway, a sign of maturity.

The hardest lesson I've learned thus far in this precocious decade? To bank on yourself. And mean it. With a job that has all the security of iCloud (read: none) and an affinity for a life with ample flexibility and wonder, my stability levels are entirely dependent on one thing: me, myself and I.

Promoting is one of those jobs that should come with a slogan ripped right from MTV Diary Of.. "You think you know but you have no idea." I chuckle at those who think all it requires is showing up for a few hours a couple times a week to drink vodka and bop around in the booth. This lovely condo and YSL heels didn't come from bopping. What started out as shits and giggles working for my former business partner as essentially a party girl turned into a quick realization of what could be made here and thus the Risk pieces on the King West board that is my life started to form. That was four years ago. And even today, while established on the scene, it is still a constant hustle and grind to stay relevant and in demand.

How hard you grind is directly correlated to how well things go. An obvious statement? Yes. But one that only turns into a stable means when you know you have what it takes. This is applicable to all careers whether it be the perpetual hustling path that I chose to take or more conventional routes I know many of my friends to be on. I've learned to not freak out as much knowing that I can depend on myself even though my only security system is my laptop, phone, and whatever I choose to do with them. Four years of ups and downs and lessons and learning and perspective and yes, even more freakouts, have led to finally being able to bank on myself. Being my own security system? I'll take that over iCloud any day.

Surely there will be plenty of dips and dives while we're out here flying but having that added twenty-something faith in yourself sure does make the ride less turbulent. Up, up and away dear readers! x 

Thank Goodness For Girl Friends - OMFG

Friends -- good friends -- and all the crazy shenanigans you get into with them, are what we'll all remember the most from our twenties. That time we partook in illicit behavior with that celebrity at 4 a.m. in Miami? Awesome. That time we all took this or that at the cottage and hilariously mused about life? Epic. That time we had to carry insert the one friend who always goes overboard out of that really fancy club and watched him/her vomit on the lawn then try and convince us to go back out partying? Less fun....but still a sick (literally) memory. While co-ed fun is always solid, there's something to be said for good times with your bros/girls. After all, Entourage and Sex and the City were both wildly popular for a reason.

As I creep into my late twenties, I've come to value my close girl friends more and more. Emphasis on the close. We're not talking fake club hugs and air kiss this and air kiss that while you vapidly discuss just where she got that divine sample sale clutch. No. We're talking real ass bitches who know you without the night time make-up. The ones you can sit around in sweats with and talk about every little uncertainty you have about life while they share theirs.

Now that we're all leading adult (ish) lives, there's been a transition from quantity to quality. Gone are the days when we all lived within a stone's throw of each other and had endless time to just hang out. Obsessive texting of boy crisis updates as they happen are a thing of the past. One of my closest girl friends and I haven't lived in the same city for years now and are still closer than ever. I've always maintained that distance and friendship have absolutely nothing to do with each other! (Thank you Skype, Viber, and especially Whatsapp -- because sometimes you just need to know that the grumpy cat photo you sent has been seen.)

A five minute talk with my bestie (and yes...no matter how old I get I will have a bestie and refer to her as my bestie) is all it takes to get me out of whatever ridiculous mood I might be in...and I'm proud to say I can do the same for several of my good girl friends as well. Like relationships, friendships only work when you both make each other better people. If she's happy for your successes (and never jealous), supports your at-times poor, irrational decisions (and is there for you during the aftermath), and you can still both get into as much trouble as you did when you were eighteen, then chances are you've found a close girl friend for life.

What has me feeling a sudden burst of love for my darling girls? Perhaps it's the holiday season that has me particularly maudlin. Or maybe, it's just an ongoing appreciation for all the forward-moving, mood-swinging, potty-mouthed, risk-taking, complicated and intelligent women in my life. Carrie once said it was about finding someone to run wild with you...she was of course, referring to her search for a spouse. I think Carrie got it partially right; it is all about finding someone to run wild with you -- not a spouse -- but rather a pack of good girl friends. I'll cheers my Cosmo to that. x

OMFG - How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days

So I turn 25 in less than a month. The horror is slowly sinking in. As a model, I'm ancient, but as a single girl in the city, I'm somewhere in between a hopeless romantic and an "all men are scum" mindset. Lately, I've been leaning towards the latter. What it is about men in this city that makes dating so...so...difficult? Before I go on, allow me to inform those of you who don't me: I'm university educated, attractive (after 9 a.m....mornings and I do not, I repeat do NOT mix), social, and, from what I've been told, pretty darn fun to be around. I'm independent, don't wear fake hair, always order dessert, and think that superhero movies are awesome. Why am I going all e-harmony on you, darling readers? Because my love life (and those of my other single girlfriends) as of late has me inspired. As does watching this Kate Hudson classic on a Sunday night. How do us twenty-something girls on the scene lose a guy in ten (or more) days? Let me count the ways.

1) We go out.
I'm a promoter. As in, I get people into clubs and facilitate good times. What does this mean? That I'm out and about on average 4 times a week. What has this taught me? Men do NOT like girls who are exposed. Before turning my nightlife into something profitable, I was already a fixture on the scene. I love going out and did so when I was single, and while in a relationship. (Nothing like a partner in crime you can sleep with as well!) One year of promoting later and I pretty much know everyone who comes to our weekly parties. I spend my nights chatting with everyone and their mama at our events. Alas, a few men I've been on dates with have cringed at the thought of their girl being so openly social all the time. The girlfriends I have who come to almost all my nights are out just as much as I am. Yes, there are tons of less-than-desirable trashy girls who fit the description of club whore to a tee, but there are also normal girls who just like to dance! And we ain't gonna do it at home.

2) We look good.
I model on the side. Inevitably, I have a lot of model friends. And they all express the same woes with me, men-wise. It's a double-edged sword when it comes to having model status on the dating scene. On one hand, guys love the idea of dating not the girl in the dress, but the girl in the ad in the dress. On the other hand, by dating, I mean banging. Yup. It's either a) you're the first model they've ever been with and their male ego goes nuts after and they want to see what else they can get, b) they are massively insecure at the thought of model looks and self-sabotage or c) they are modelizers just in it for the chase. Bang bang, bye bye. This really applies to all hot chicks. Actually, just all girls in general.The heart wants what it wants, right? Well, so do the pants.

3) We're Carrie girls.
There's been a bit of an epidemic among my older guy friends lately. They all seem to be settling down with -- how shall I phrase this delicately -- Plain Janes. You know: boring, nice, sweet enough girls who just sit there smiling and giggling. They don't add much to conversations and look as if they put their outfits together via the style tips page in Cosmo. They're perfectly pleasant but they're just not, to me anyway, interesting. I love all my opinionated, sharp-witted, potty-mouthed, fashion-mistake making, risk-taking, mood-swinging girlfriends more than anything. All the ridiculousness they get into, all the epic mistakes and comebacks they endure, and all the insane shenanigans they create make them worship material. As Carrie once quoted to the elation of interesting women everywhere: "Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free til they find some one just as wild to run with them." I have nothing against these Plain Janes (and if they make my friends happy, that's what matters) but Carrie's got a point. Where are the men who don't want Version 2.0 of their moms but a wild goddess to keep up with them? Or, keep up with us, is more like it!

4) We know what we want.
And for the overwhelming majority of my girls, that doesn't mean kids. At least not for a long while. I'm still remarkably uncomfortable around kids...maybe it's because they're smelly and loud (likely), or maybe it's because they remind me that I want to accomplish so much more before I can even consider having them. Of course I want kids one day (it would be a crime to humanity to not reproduce adorable Asian babies. You know they're the cutest. Don't even try and deny it.) but right now, I want a successful career, travel, and a Balenciaga Moto in every colour. Selfish? No. Just watch a few minutes of Teen Mom and my case is made. I don't know where my career will take me now, but I hope it takes me everywhere. My successful girl friends in the scene work similarly flexible jobs (DJing, fashion merchandising, modeling, etc.) and know that when an opportunity strikes, you jump on it. Being outwardly anti-child is, hmm, kind of the opposite of what men who want to date seriously are looking to hear; but kids or no kids, I rather jab my stiletto into my jugular than become a housewife.

5) We're picky.
I know what I'm worth. And it's a lot. I'm cocky by no means, but every healthy, happy individual has a good dose of self-confidence.That being said, I'm not willing to settle for less than I think I deserve. This sounds a lot bitchier than it is; I welcome complicated men (actually have quite the liking for them), am capable of empathetic understanding to the umpteenth degree and honest to goodness do not give a crap about income. However, slip-ups in how you treat me usually end with a brisk switch in my head from "potential" to "never". Where my adhesion is to good hearts and being treated well, all my other girl friends have there own  versions of criteria they're just as unwilling to deviate from. Handsome, kind, and interesting -- those are just the bare necessities.

There you have it guys and dolls. How to lose a guy in ten (or more) days, according to my recent love life and those of my similarly situation-ed girl friends! Let's recap here: gorgeous, ambitious, opinionated, decisive and socially-inclined women have become the pariahs of the dating scene? In that case, I think I'll be happily single. Carrie girls are a rare breed and, well, I really wouldn't have it any other way.

                                         Best scene.

x

OMFG - Everything for a reason...even you Irene!

Nothing quite shows who truly cares about you like a natural disaster. An over-hyped natural disaster at that, but  a scary event to go through by yourself in New York City nonetheless. Especially in an apartment with no television and no internet. Like a typical girl, Hurricane Irene was late to arrive and made us all wait  (the little bitch), but thankfully her impact wasn't too bad. Mostly flooding of the lower-lying areas of Manhattan and power outages, plus a few trees and garbage cans as causalities. I'm grateful and my thoughts go out to those the South who received the harsher end of her wrath.

Despite it being a slightly over-glorified rainstorm, the city rightfully took precautions in what could of been a devastating event. I spent an hour waiting in line at the grocery store stocking up on food and water (turns out I'm balls at shopping for food for myself...M&M's, lox and figs didn't exactly go well together..), bought a flash light and made sure I was not in an evacuation zone. Actually, all information about the storm was parlayed to me via my darling sister, dad and friends. Thank goodness for their thoughtfulness or I would of been totally out of the loop, save for runs to a nearby Starbucks to use the Internet there.

I definitely believe everything happens for a reason and the support I got from the friends close to me made me realize who was important in my life. It also made me realize who definitely wasn't. People who brushed Irene off as "nothing much" and "oh you'll be fine" were right in facts but sorely lacking in empathy and care. I mean, sure, it's going to be all right we think, but to me, if they really cared, they'd be worried about a loved one there anyways. Or at least provide a little comfort.

This post isn't much more than to point out just that: everything, and I mean everything, happens for a reason.  I trust in destiny always and I was definitely supposed to be here during this to fine-tune several things in my life. It's back to lovely Toronto on Tuesday and I can't wait for a fresh start, fresh perspective and most of all change! Bring it on.
x

OMFG - Progress, Progress, Progress

I remember being in middle school and the make-up regime I went through daily in order to get ready. It was a lot. There was concealer, and tons and tons and tons of eyeliner (every Asian girl goes through a super-heavy eyeliner phase, trust me. Actually every girl in general, really.) and eye shadow and blush and tons and tons and tons of mascara on top of all that eyeliner. I probably resembled something of an Asian mafia princess, all that heavy make-up combined with super-thin eyebrows that seemed so in back then, but at the time it was my way of feeling pretty. Fast forward to the present and yes, I obviously still wear make-up, but it's much less than then, and I look and feel much more myself. The years have only brought confidence to me and thank goodness, because I probably wouldn't of gotten into modeling had I prolonged my Asian mafia look.

One of the perks that comes with every twenty-something birthday I pass is that I grow more and more sure of myself. As any young woman in touch with herself (intellectually and emotionally...get your minds out of the gutter, pervs.) can tell you, confidence in your twenties can be a wavering thing. Fragile yet tenacious, I find at least, that it varies as much as my mood does. There are days when I feel like I can run this city, and days when I feel like a miserable cow who's only understanding outlet is cupcakes. (Seriously, baked goods are the love of my life. Thank goodness for my faster-than-fast metabolism.) I don't feel vulnerable admitting to my insecurities, only because I know every human being out there has them.

As varied as my confidence can be, I feel more myself as I get older. Silly statement it seems to make, as obviously I've always been myself, but what I'm talking about is a sureness in my thoughts, feelings, and what I want to be doing with my life. There's an assertiveness that wasn't present much during my teens, and a comforting knowledge that mini-life crisis's aren't the end of the world, but stepping stones to the next level. That forward-moving ball of highly emotional yet fiery energy I described myself as in one of my recent blog posts fine-tuned itself over the last year and I can only imagine what will it will transform into in the near future. My landlord in Singapore (a charmingly dazed British man who did more drugs in his lifetime than anyone should and reminded me of a Rolling Stone...you're sort of amazed he's still alive.) would always talk to me in his pot-induced hazes and call me "Top Exec" as a nickname. You're just on the verge of taking off, Top Exec, I can feel it, and everyone who meets you can feel it. It's this fire. Although I took his words with a grain of salt (or weed, is more like it) I felt very much the same. A twenty-something on the verge...aren't we all on some level.

The person I am today is not who I was a week ago, a month ago, a year ago an so forth. Progress is the key to life for me (aside from love, that is) and I know as long as I'm making it, I'm good to go. Disorganized, perhaps. Unstable, maybe. But making progress? Always. Some may mistake me as not always being super upbeat all the time, but like I've said before I'm not one of those shiny happy people. And I like it that way. Whatever I'm working through in my head and in reality is usually an issue I feel I have to, and will conquer in due time. Progress indeed.

Mind you, all of this occurs just beneath the surface and is subtle unless you know me extremely well...of which I'd say only a few people do. This is the case for many women I know, and I think some of the most lovely and exquisite girls I've met are highly subtle and elegant. Confidence and progress are key to all evolving twenty-something women...and men for that matter. We all change from year to year and whether it's a forward momentum is up entirely to us. For every lovely and exquisite women on the verge out there, there's an over-made mafia princess waiting to bloom..x