Thank Goodness For Girl Friends - OMFG

Friends -- good friends -- and all the crazy shenanigans you get into with them, are what we'll all remember the most from our twenties. That time we partook in illicit behavior with that celebrity at 4 a.m. in Miami? Awesome. That time we all took this or that at the cottage and hilariously mused about life? Epic. That time we had to carry insert the one friend who always goes overboard out of that really fancy club and watched him/her vomit on the lawn then try and convince us to go back out partying? Less fun....but still a sick (literally) memory. While co-ed fun is always solid, there's something to be said for good times with your bros/girls. After all, Entourage and Sex and the City were both wildly popular for a reason.

As I creep into my late twenties, I've come to value my close girl friends more and more. Emphasis on the close. We're not talking fake club hugs and air kiss this and air kiss that while you vapidly discuss just where she got that divine sample sale clutch. No. We're talking real ass bitches who know you without the night time make-up. The ones you can sit around in sweats with and talk about every little uncertainty you have about life while they share theirs.

Now that we're all leading adult (ish) lives, there's been a transition from quantity to quality. Gone are the days when we all lived within a stone's throw of each other and had endless time to just hang out. Obsessive texting of boy crisis updates as they happen are a thing of the past. One of my closest girl friends and I haven't lived in the same city for years now and are still closer than ever. I've always maintained that distance and friendship have absolutely nothing to do with each other! (Thank you Skype, Viber, and especially Whatsapp -- because sometimes you just need to know that the grumpy cat photo you sent has been seen.)

A five minute talk with my bestie (and yes...no matter how old I get I will have a bestie and refer to her as my bestie) is all it takes to get me out of whatever ridiculous mood I might be in...and I'm proud to say I can do the same for several of my good girl friends as well. Like relationships, friendships only work when you both make each other better people. If she's happy for your successes (and never jealous), supports your at-times poor, irrational decisions (and is there for you during the aftermath), and you can still both get into as much trouble as you did when you were eighteen, then chances are you've found a close girl friend for life.

What has me feeling a sudden burst of love for my darling girls? Perhaps it's the holiday season that has me particularly maudlin. Or maybe, it's just an ongoing appreciation for all the forward-moving, mood-swinging, potty-mouthed, risk-taking, complicated and intelligent women in my life. Carrie once said it was about finding someone to run wild with you...she was of course, referring to her search for a spouse. I think Carrie got it partially right; it is all about finding someone to run wild with you -- not a spouse -- but rather a pack of good girl friends. I'll cheers my Cosmo to that. x

OMFG - Dating In Your Early vs. Late Twenties

The dating game...does it ever really get any easier? This twenty-something girl is going to go with a decisive no. But, with time and some (albeit wavering) maturity, it does get different. You've all seen the wildly popular Buzzfeed/EliteDaily/whatever "articles" (or GIF lists, rather) that describe the marked changes between when you're a flailing twenty year old navigating the scene and when you're a slightly-less-flailing twenty-five year old navigating the scene. So, beyond the GIF's, how do these differences add up in the real world? Let's see.

By the time you hit your mid to late twenties, you've either had your heart broken or broken someone else's. Often more than just once. This means that when you enter a relationship with someone new, you're carrying not just your black leather Pashli, but a little tote of good old fashioned baggage as well. It ain't pretty and it ain't useful but it's sure as hell there. Some people jump over baggage like hurdlers, never touching it except rare moments when they fall. Others carry it like a ball and chain to the ankle. Listen, you can pep talk the crap out of a person with baggage but at the end of the day, sometimes broken hearts take a long time to heal. The key is to finding an understanding of each other's levels of baggage; after all you want someone to help you lift that damn tote and maybe throw some of its clutter out along the way.

Baggage, schmagagge. It's all worth it for the inclusion of real dates as you get older. You know what I mean guys...real, non-shitty dates. Because both of you have real jobs now. With real paychecks. And real taste. And real savoir faire. Long gone are the days of "group dates" where you just kinda/sorta/maybe-ish invited that one dude/chick you liked along to hang with your friends and sheepishly looked at the them the whole time. Gone are the days where you haphazardly met up to just kick it around town and see what happened. Now it's all about (gasp!) solid plans and a willingness to spend more than, I don't know, fifty bucks on a first round of dating. Dinners, wine/art/wine/wine/culture/more wine, shows, galleries, concerts, and more. Flowers and otherwise if you're dating/are a smooth one. R.I.P. group date...may you never return!

The most obvious difference as we millenials get slightly less youthful (that's my sugar-coated way of saying older and jaded) is knowing what we want. In work, in lifestyle and most definitely in love. My friend Andrew and I came to the horrifying conclusion the other night over vodka-sodas and loud club bangers (I said older, not old!) that dating nowadays is indeed less a search for triumph in play and more a search for...well a partner in life. I know -- horrifying. Yet, relieving as well. Knowing you don't just want to fuck around with whatever hot piece of ass you can get, or casually date this person because OMG his tattoos and laissez-faire life are just soooo cool, make it easier for you to form real connections with people who are going to live, and not just vacation in your life. Obviously we're not talking about stage-five clinging to whoever comes our way, but knowing that a relationship is capable of meeting a certain level of seriousness is a must.

Actually, clinging is a quality left for the insecure selves of our early twenties. I find myself not necessarily apathetic when it comes to dating, but definitely much more intolerant to bullshit I would of put up with a few years ago. It's a lot less "Does he like me? Does he like me? What if he doesn't like me?" and a lot more "I like me. Fuck it." Bad relationship deja vu, signs of instability or otherwise get the shrug instead of a teary breakdown. The old quote might ring cliche but it also rings truer than true: if you're not their priority, don't make them yours. We're older. Wiser. Established. And on a trajectory to greatness. Tourists need not apply. x