My good friend Daniela and I often share our woes of the dating scene in our mid-twenties. No longer naively optimistic teens looking for puppy love nor horridly jaded (...yet) we both agree that it's fun for the most part, but a little tiring at others. "They're like job interviews with cocktails!" Daniela often remarks about first dates. And sadly, I'd have to agree. By the time you're twentysomething, it's inevitable to have accumulated a fair amount of dating "experience", shall we say. And by "experience" I mean a whole lot of emotional baggage. Unless you're a robot, totally prude or incredibly sheltered, chances are that you've either had your heart broken, or done the breaking. Many of us are in self-protect mode at this age and that's why first dates can be interrogation-like...it's all about sniffing out the other person's baggage.
Pessimistic sounding, sure, but as some one who definitely fits into the category of hopeless romantic, baggage doesn't have to be anymore more than a little bump in the road. It's been noted (by friends of mine -- over and over again) that a characteristic of mine is to not give up on people. Sure, it's sounds all lovely and endearing in words, but in actuality it has proven to be draining and not always for the best. Sticking around way after the expiry date of a relationship, when it's gone not just bad but awfully rotten, simply for the sake of trying to help some one who clearly does not want it, is not an ideal situation for anyone. So with that in mind I give my baggage advice with warning: only attempt to take on baggage you know you can handle. Hopelessly romantic I may be, but naive? Nuh-uh.
And, as with everything else in life, a bit of honesty goes a long way. No, no, no, this doesn't mean word vomiting after meeting some one of interest a couple times, or letting it all out when wasted, but simply answering things as they come up. Honestly. (For the record, I'm personally all for drunken emotional talks, but experience has proven the general consensus is a resounding nay. See? Hopeless.) It's the difference between fudging the answer of questions about your past and admitting that no, your dating history isn't perfect. Perfection is for the for the boring anyways...give me complicated, layered and mysterious any day of the week. If Adele can make a career of singing about it, surely it's not all that bad.
Acknowledging flaws of the dating world keeps it resoundingly on the fun as opposed to the tiring side. Interesting people, interesting places and interesting things (so interesting nouns, basically..) never cease to keep things, well, interesting! And who knows, the next fun fling you have might just turn into some one who makes your baggage feel not as heavy. Happy dating, darling bloggees!
x
And for days when you just need a little Adele release...after all, anyone with iTunes and a heart does it!
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