OMFG -- Asian Invasion

Our society, especially in the past couple uber-proactive decades, has come so far in so many ways. Equality for marriage, while not the norm everywhere, is spreading, the President is an African American for the first time in history, and, well you get the picture. However, every once in a while I am subjected to less-than-forward behavior that reminds me of a select few ignorant douchebags are ruining our progress. Okay, so maybe "ruining our progress" is a bit harsh -- causing extreme eye rolls and sighs of disbelief is more like it.

My lovely hometown of Toronto is spectacular in its diversity. As a first generation Chinese-Canadian growing up in darling little T.dot (my parents, both from Hong Kong, moved to Toronto in 1975 and eventually became Canadian citizens. Being born here, I had native citizenship, obviously) I've never felt out of place at all, and relished all the different types of ethnicities and cultures that make up the stunning mosaic that is the city. Of course, being Chinese is still a minority in North America (but not the world! Over 1 billion and counting...that's right kids, on a global scale everyone but the Chinese are a minority! Insert evil laugh here..) and it's when I travel to different parts of the continent that I realize just how little some people know about Asia.

Oh goodness, the lines I've heard unknowingly come out of the mouths of the uneducated! Or, the educated and just rude! Usually I just muffle a laugh, roll my eyes a little and move onto the next conversation, but get a couple drinks in me and I get all snappy self-righteous bitch on these jerks. I was in Vegas a couple weeks ago and with some wealthy men who joined my girls and I for dinner on several occasions. These men were powerful, moneyed and I'm assuming cultured, but alas,when they started speaking many lines tumbled out of their liquored mouths that proved otherwise. One noted how beautiful an Asian friend of mine was and proclaimed that he was, and I quote, an "expert on Asians." Really? Like really? We're human beings my dear, not an indigenous plant species. My other friend and I dissolved into laughter recounting the incident later in our hotel room....yeah, and I'm an expert on white people. It just sounds ludicrous when you phrase it like that! We spoke to these men the next day and wondered aloud why they didn't comment on the looks of myself and other friend, who is Asian as well. They claimed they simply didn't notice we were. After sitting directly across from both of them at dinner. And engaging in direct conversation. For three hours. Apparently the blonde highlights I've put into my hair for the summer have done more than hide my roots! They've hidden my race as well!

All kidding aside, I know it's not ill-intentioned malice that is causing such comments. It's just a little misinformation, or really no information at all. I get comments that I look identical to Lucy Liu all the time, from baristas, to waiters, to that dude who stands at the door and greets you at Abercrombie and Fitch and I shrug it off and simply think to myself "Wow these people are dumb!" I mean, while she's beautiful, Lucy Liu and I look nothing, and I mean nothing alike. It's like if I told the Abercrombie dude that he and that guy over  there (points to random guy across the store) look like twins simply because they're both Caucasian. Another innocent enough but still annoying gem of a line I get laid on me often is along the likes of "Omg! You're the prettiest Asian girl I've ever seen! No offense, but all the ones I see are usually not so good looking! Like pretty ugly!" Um, offense taken, thank you very much! But sure, call me pretty and you can insult my entire race! Like I said, it's innocent enough, just mind-numbingly ignorant in its execution. (Also, on a totally selfish and superficial note, it would be nice to be called the most beautiful girl, not just the most beautiful Asian girl!)

Anyways I could get all preachy about equality and race and blah blah blah, but honestly it's just not necessary. We don't all look alike, we don't all speak the same language, (I get called a Geisha all the time...yeah, I'm Chinese, not Japanese buddy boy) and we especially don't all have the same customs. Asia is as diverse as it is here in Canada, and if you're really having trouble grasping this fact, then for the love of humanity, Wikipedia that shit! Try not to be mindlessly ignorant and respectful and you're good to go. Oh, and don't tell me I look like Lucy Liu...or I might have to kick some ass.
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