Oh men! As a girl dating in her twenties, I could go on and on about the gripes I have with the opposite sex as I'm sure any other girl could. And nowadays with all the technology we have attached to our fingertips 24/7, it seems as though there are a million new ways for us women to get mad at our current men over... and vice versa I'm sure. Bbm, Facebook, Twitter, texting...with so many connections to so many people, flirting and the line between what's appropriate and what's not in relationships, sort-of relationships or whatever the heck undefinable entanglements we're in gets harder and harder to figure out.
I can't tell you how many times I've gotten frustrated over stupid indiscretions with tech stuff. Like most dudes who are overly rational and not nearly as emotional as girls tend to be, my guy friends always say "just because it's not online doesn't mean it's not happening in real life." Oh sure, that sounds just nice and peachy, but if you're proud to be with some one in real life, why the heck wouldn't that translate into your online personality, especially when that's how so many people are exposed to you? Exactly. Guys, you can spin it however you want, but all we hear is "he can't commit to me and still wants to seem available." In the words that the infallible Chris Martin croons in Viva La Vida: if you love me, won't you let me know....online. Of course making a fuss about little things here and there are only for when two people become serious. If I'm just hooking up with a guy or we've yet to make things official, I could really care less who he's poking, messaging or flirty wall-posting online with. (For the record no real men should 'poke'! Surely you can think of a more confident way to get a girl's attention. Also, big fat ew on a context level. No one who pokes me if ever going to get a response unless it's done with a big dose of irony.)
Facebook aside, for my fellow crackberry addicts, there's bbm. Ah bbm, the accountability checker and cause of some of my worst fights. Being able to read when some one receives and chooses to respond to a message is a gift and a curse, depending on the time difference between the two. I'm on my crackberry like a bee on honey and am always prompt to respond to whoever is messaging me, and I can't help but get irked when people take their sweet ass time responding to simple things. Add all the here-say of sex and dating and you've got yourself a virtual battlefield. (Side-note: the only thing worse than a unresponsive read message is when the message doesn't even go through at all. What are you, just hanging out in the subway for the day? Come on now.) Perhaps men just naturally aren't as communicative as women, but I don't think we have to get into biology or a war of the sexes here. It's as simple as if you care, answer. We're talking 30 seconds max and if you don't have 30 seconds for some one...well, that's something a girl is going to want to know.
I'm clearly going through some communicative frustrations myself resulting in this very ranty blog post! Being in a long distance relationship for a few months coupled with watching too many Sex and the City episodes lately has put me into a somewhat overly-empowered woman mode and my naturally demanding behavior is at a peak. Is it too much to ask for perfection in love? Maybe. But when you're sure it's love (and I am), then perhaps demanding perfection, and striving for it constantly, is the only way to keep the standard of your relationship as close to that as possible. Perfect love may not exist, but as long as there are little warriors for love out there, near-perfect is an attainable reality.
For all you men out there reading this who can't understand their women and why we make a fuss over the little things like Facebook and bbm, allow me to clear things up for you: it is because we see it as an indicator of bigger things. When you love some one and they can't seem to do little things for you, it's a sure sign they won't do bigger things for you either. So if you take one thing away from my emotional vomit of a post take this: answer your damn phone. x
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