I was enjoying a martini and miso black cod at an upscale sushi restaurant in my dear city one night a little bit ago with some girl friends when our meal was disrupted by a scream. All of my well-heeled and glittery-dressed gals and I turned our coiffed heads from our $50 meals to see a child, maybe about five years, wailing and running around the restaurant with what looked like chocolate smeared on his face. While one or two of my friends oohed and ahhed over the cuteness of the little tyke, I winced and sighed. I mean, what kind of parents bring their kids to a trendy restaurant at 10pm on a weekend night? I don't care how cool and hip parenting has evolved to be over the past decades -- there are just some places children are not meant to go.
I paid $20 a drink to enjoy the pretentious atmosphere of classy Toronto dining I'm used to when I head out for the night... and that atmosphere does not include messy-faced toddlers. This incident pretty much sums out how I feel about ever having kids now, or anytime soon: there's absolutely no way. I'm admittedly too selfish to give up any of my lifestyle and care for some one else. (Well, except a boyfriend at the moment.) Also, I can barely take care of my myself...goodness knows what would happen if I had a child. However, some of my friends, of similar age to me (read: still young) have expressed that they are ready to settle down with one person, have babies, and spend their lives caring for them. One girl friend of mine was explaining her desire to do so the other night while we were out, and I don't know if it was the four vodka-Redbulls I had throughout the night, or the three shots I'd downed, or the beer I was sipping on, but I started to feel claustrophobic and it wasn't even my life she was describing. Being tied down to anything that involves commitment (other than love..) just makes my skin crawl. Perhaps it's the responsibility of it all, but I think I can safely say there will be no little Sheilakins running around any time soon.
I realize this all makes me sound terribly anti-child. That's not the case at all! I think babies are adorable (as long as I don't have to take care of them for more than a couple minutes) and that children are cute as well. Heck, I even spent a summer when I was fifteen being a camp counselor! Mind you, it was a pampered rich kid day camp in my area and as counselors we really didn't really have to do much other than shuffle the kids from supervised activity to supervised activity...but hey, I was still surrounded by them 24/7!
When I think of how wonderful my childhood was (no less than three trips to Disney World, travel all over the globe, caring parents who listened to whatever my siblings and I had to say and many other precious surprises, to say the least) I know that I want to be able to give that, and more, to my own children. And right now, living the (relatively) carefree and a lot of the time careless life that I live...well that's just not an option. Not to mention my parents being the most amazing and ridiculously functioning team in the world (seriously, they could run a country together, that's how seamlessly efficient they are) I guess subconsciously I won't even consider having kids until I feel I'm in a union as solid as theirs. I mean, at least I know I'm selfish, unfit to provide and unstable right now! Teen Mom on MTV might be shits and giggles to make fun of, but imagining being in such a sad situation in reality is terrifying. No money, sketchy babydaddy, and poor living standards? Ugh, hand me a condom.
Of course life has its moments that cannot be planned, but having children definitely is not one of them for me. While I admire that some of my friends already know what they want in life, I feel as though I haven't even seen, or experienced enough of the world to decide when, where and who I want to settle down with. Children, schmildren -- they can wait. What can't wait, to me, is the world. And perhaps after I see, do, and live everything I've felt I need to, I'll be ready. But until then, they should really stay out of my upscale dinner parties. x
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