Torontonians, rejoice! The hot hot heat we've been asking for all year is finally here. And it's here with a vengeance. As some one who took environmental studies in university, the extreme heat worries me...global warming after all is taking it's toll on the planet. But as a shameless hedonistic twenty-something I have this say: this weather is awesome. Toronto reached the hottest it's ever been in history, and with the outdoors feeling like 50 Celsius, many of us are stripping down to what we normally would wear on the beach. Yes, it's super hot and sweaty outside. And yes, being exposed to the sun for more than a couple minutes leaves even the most poised and eloquent of us all looking like rotting ice cream cones...but there's no reason to trot along Queen West with your ass cheeks hanging out. A little note to all you melting minglers out there: keep it classy bitches. (You too, male bitches.)
I know guys. I know. It's hot. We all know it's hot. And some times it's easier to throw our shame aside in favor of feeling a little cooler. But after witnessing what can only be described as hooker-esque styles on the streets today, I felt it necessary to log on, start a new post, and devote it to explaining why ass-shorts and a bra is not appropriate for anyone to see aside from your boyfriend, and perhaps if you really a prosty, your clients. It's all about balance when it comes to staying chic and lovely while still cool enough to walk between air-conditioned store to air-conditioned store.
Crop tops are wonderfully trendy right now, but please, wear them with a graceful maxi skirt instead of a mini. Crop top and a mini in the day time? Unless you're trying to look like a Spice Girl, I wouldn't recommend it. It seems as though the length of shorts has gone from long, to short, to whoa, to ew in the past couple years. I mean honestly, I've seen more bum cheeks in the past week than I have in an entire uncensored Snoop Dog video. I have a nice ass. Doesn't mean I want to show it off all the freaking time. A well-tailored pair of paper-bag shorts (like these) or even short, cute, cut-off shorts (like these denim ones) are perfectly adorable, sexy, and do not require the population of Toronto to know how, exactly, your ass looks when smushed into shorts too tight to breathe in. I partially blame American Apparel for this trend...just because it looks super hot when their models loll around half-naked on all white backgrounds doesn't mean you should buy their disco shorts and wear them out. Just sayin'.
Men, you're not off the hook either! No matter how ripped, tan, and chiseled you are, walking around anywhere that is not remotely beachy with your shirt off just looks...douchey. Like, tres douchey. Especially if you're doing that over-compensating male thing where you hunch a little and walk with your arms in front of the rest of you. It's cute on apes, it's douche-tastic on you. Muscle shirts are tolerable I suppose, if it's going to be this hot, and when paired with tailored shorts and loafers is borderline charming. It's when I see dudes wearing tanks with more cleavage than girls at clubs that I start to giggle. Muscles or no muscles, it looks silly.
It's a scorching 30 plus degrees right now as I'm about to head out for a patio to start my night, just another hot hot night for us hot hot twenty-somethings. Clearly the hottest of us all are ones with confidence. And an understated one at that. No need to show it all off when you know you've got it. Crop top? Yes. Now pass me my maxi.
x
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