OMFG -- Model dinners.

I'm watching the Czech model across the table from me pick at her tuna tartar. There are three tiny pieces of  crostini at the side of her plate, which she removed immediately from the dish the second it arrived at the table. She also spent a good ten minutes precisely cutting up and slowly eating the decorative cucumber slices that framed the tartar. It doesn't take a expert to see that this chick has serious eating issues. Perhaps even anorexia from the looks of her bobble-head and stick-thin gaunt yellow arms.

I was at a model dinner at a beautiful tucked-away Italian restaurant in the Upper East Side. I've been at my share of model dinners and seen my share of stick figures pick at an assortment of five-star cuisine, but it never fails to make me feel sad. These poor girls...I mean this is some of the most beautiful food there is and what do they do? Pick at tartar. As a foodie, it pains my fat little heart. Pass me the pasta.

I know what you must think: I'm one of those skinny girls who thinks she eats a lot, but really, doesn't eat that much...it's just a lot compared to models. Well, let me assure you kids, it's a lot compared to models, normal people, that fat dude scarfing down his Big Mac over there and more. Ask my best friend Sarah, my sister, even my model friends and I'm 100% positive they can all vouch for my monstrous appetite. (Mind you this is all done as daintily as possible. I'm a classy bitch.) Yes, I have a warp-speed metabolism, but I'm not impervious to weight gain...everything in moderation is the key. Eat what you love, just don't stuff your face. Except if you're at a really amazing five star Italian restaurant on the Upper East Side. Come on, Czech. Like, really?

Blah, blah, blah, I know how tough the industry is and how much pressure we models are under to look like sticks. I've had days where I've felt like a ginormous cow, or times when I go into castings and feel like the biggest girl there. But I'm not sixteen and doing this (thank god). I'm twenty-four, know my body pretty well and am happy with it. I also have the common sense to know that unless I remove some ribs and my hipbones, and retard my growth to pre-puberty, there's no way I can compete with the eating disorder/fifteen year old/boyishly-built sticks out there. It's just not possible. Knowing that, I can enjoy my food and know that whatever work I get isn't going to vary much based on whether I eat this bagel and lox or not. So the answer, is always yes.

Living life without enjoying food just doesn't seem much like living at all. I've tried my share of diets and means to stay skinny and none of them have been remotely fun. Being starving all the time makes for one bitchy Sheilakins, and that's putting it lightly. Throwing up, laxatives, and all other extremes just sound, well disgusting. And for all the times I've tried to starve it off, not much happens. I basically lose 5 pounds give or take and my quality of life is severely worse....so food, friends, and good times it is! Happy and 5 pounds heavier is so much more lovely than miserable and 5 pounds thinner.

I've discussed model pressures and food in blogs before, but it has surfaced in my mind again since being here because it's so much more extreme in New York. All my model girls in Toronto have hearty appetites for the most part, bless their foodie souls! After a handful of model dinners here, it's apparent that sitting around tables sipping wine and staring longingly at food while barely talking is the norm. That's cool. Just means more food for me.

Eat happily, drink heartily & just be content lovelies!
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