An article that has been making the rounds lately among my social networking sites (Yes, I got Facebook back. I just have no will power when it comes to online over-sharing.) is about the next generation of twenty-somethings and how they're different from previous ones, published in the New York Times. It's an insightful and interesting read basically laying out the argument that youth in their twenties nowadays are pushing back the usual steps taken to reach adulthood, such as marriage, kids, being financially independent, and are instead choosing in favor of longer schooling, travel, and an overall mission to find themselves before adulthood and real-life responsibilities being.
Check it out here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/magazine/22Adulthood-t.html?_r=3&pagewanted=1&src=tptw
Well, after reading that article, and then skimming over my last blog post on right-brained thinking and endless possibilities, I let out a long "Ohhhh crap." I fit into this so-called "emerging adulthood" category to a tee...and so do most of my friends right now. Blame it on our privileged upbringings, blame it on the immense pressure there is on twenty-somethings to fulfill every aspect of their lives now in order to be happy later, and blame it on the recession, but however you put it, this generation is a walking, talking, traveling, advertisement for "emerging adulthood".
Some of the reason for this trend can of course be attributed to the changing times. Society demands different things of its youth as technology and social norms progress. I know I don't feel the need to pop out kids any time soon, partially because in middle school they made us watch a very informative but through my adolescent eyes, disgusting and horrific video called "The Miracle of Life", and partially because I know there are options out there for women choosing to have kids later on in life, such as adoption, surrogates, and fertility aids. (Although right now to be perfectly honest, the most I can picture myself with is a puppy or two, if that. Thank you, preventative sex education in middle school. Seriously, just the grossest video ever.) Couples living together without the need for marriage is widely accepted nowadays and premarital sex is, well let's just say you'd get stranger looks if you said you were against it than for it. These are but a few of the norms that have bended in regulation vastly over the last couple decades and have allowed us twenty-somethings to live in limbo for a little longer.
The big question is: is it all worth it? Does taking longer to reach adulthood ensure that the lives we live thereafter are happier and what we truly want? Having the answer to this would be like saying you had the answer to what the purpose of life is. There really is no one answer, you just have to live through it. I definitely believe in taking the time to find out exactly who you are and what makes you thrive in life before saddling yourself into any sort of norm, such as a marriage, a career-long job or a permanent location. However the ability for me to do so has its implications....I'm 23 at the moment and after 4 years of living on my own for school, I'm back at home. My parents are kind enough to be okay with this (That might be an understatement....my mom is ecstatic to have her kids home at this age -- she intercepts me with hugs every time I try and beeline for the fridge, the door, the stairs, etc.) but to know that I'm taking away instead of adding to their financial situation does not exactly sit well with me. Also, this time to see exactly what I want in the world has left me feeling a wee bit...unprepared. There's a part of me that's itching to throw myself into another city (New York!) just to see if I can make it as an adult. This prolonged adolescence has created a generation of childish twenty-somethings...myself included. I feel ill-equipped in many ways to tackle the daunting real world mainly because I've never really had to. Living on my "own" during school was within the bubble of university and within the same city where I grew up. I think part of why I'm itching is because I crave the independence generations before us had; whether I'm ready for it or not, only experience and time will tell. What justifies the stage of "emerging adulthood", for me personally, is that the one thing I'm sure of is the momentum in my life. There's undoubtedly a forward motion to where things are headed for me in recent months in my post-university era, and it's this push towards whatever it is and wherever it is I am supposed to be that keeps me calm in knowing I'm on the right track. Everyday I wake up ready to tackle the world and I'm positive that if I keep tackling, something great is just around the corner.
Ah, this mentality, another symptom of the generation, is, as the article dubs it a somewhat romantic optimism in the "sense of possibility". While the article paints this notion as being somewhat naive, it's something I believe in because I've seen it work. It's worked for me, for my close friends, for people I love, but it's only there if you're open to it. Gone are the days when the only way to climb the ladder in life was through a series of predetermined steps: now all one needs is a chance meeting with the right person, and the ability to be your own resume one hundred percent of the time. Being the best possible version of yourself as much as possible isn't just for your own self-worth and happiness...it's an undeniable asset for your professional life. I've done some of my best networking while out and about in the city, day or night, meeting like-minded people with no other explanation than we recognized something of interest in one another. Simply making yourself available to these opportunities is perhaps the most important step.
At 23, the only thing I can say for sure about myself thus far is that I'm a romantic who places a lot (maybe even too much) value on love. What I want to do with my life exactly and how I want to live it in the decades to come...well those are only vague ideas swirling around in my over-active brain right now. Travel, art, love, family, friends, progress, style, and connections are all ideas of importance to me; but how these abstracts will become concrete is something I have another couple years to figure out.
Twenty-something Jennifer is quoted in the article as saying: "It’s somewhat terrifying to think about all the things I’m supposed to be doing in order to ‘get somewhere’ successful: ‘Follow your passions, live your dreams, take risks, network with the right people, find mentors, be financially responsible, volunteer, work, think about or go to grad school, fall in love and maintain personal well-being, mental health and nutrition.’ When is there time to just be and enjoy?”
The time to "just be and enjoy" is now for me, and I owe it to myself, my good fortune at being given such an amazing opportunity, and my future to dive into my endless possibilities head first and without the slightest bit of doubt that I'll emerge more sure of myself than ever.
Everything Jennifer listed is valid...but only one stands out in my mind: to all you twenty-somethings out there as lost as I am, follow your passions as tirelessly as possible and the rest of your happiness, whatever it may be, will be sure to come.
x
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