While sipping a French Martini on the patio of some nondescript lounge in the city the other hot summer night, a girl I'm friends-ish with sauntered on over and said a friendly hello. Actually -- let me clarify: the conversation went like this: "Oh. Em.Gee. Hi gorgeous! It's been soooo long! Backhanded compliment about my dress and how awesome Zara is for getting cheap clothes. What are you up to these days?! Inappropriate comment about my ex and why our relationship failed. We should totally get coffee some time! Jealous comments about some model pics I posted on Facebook ages ago. Anyways, it's sooooo good seeing you! Oh. Em. Gee!!! One more backhanded compliment for the road. Apparently my hair was going limp from the humidity." That's right bloggees, I had encountered the dreaded frenemy. For those of you not up to speed on the many shades of friends present in this complex social realm, I offer you a brief refresher course: Frenemies can be described as girls you know and occasionally hang out with who do all the talking while you roll your eyes and think in your head "Bitch, please!" They're easier to be nice to than not be nice to, simply because you know girlfriend would become a vindictive little pain in the ass if you were to, say, brush off her stories about how she just spent the last two weeks retouching her hair to get it just the right shade of peroxide blonde. Gay boys can fall under the frenemy category as well, but straight boys are exempt of the rule since, well, straight boys are incapable of being anything but straightforward and logical when it comes to friendships. (Which is sweet and all, but come on, we all know girls and gay boys are the ones who run this social business.)
I personally don't find it too hard to deal with frenemies. I've had my share and for the most part, I find them harmless and even amusing...I mean you don't even have to do any talking, they're a conversation within themselves! I've perfected standing there, nodding my head with a smile plastered on and offering advice as sincerely as I can when they tell me about problems they're going through even though I really don't know much about them aside from the fact that they like their martinis dry.
However, it's when a frenemy turns toxic, and not in that sexy, mysterious way Britney breathily sings about, that you have to do some snipping. Cutting out toxic friends is like social tailoring for me: you want to make sure your social circle is made to fit you perfectly, no loose ends, no rough edges and certainly no extra pins leftover in your custom YSL shirts to stab you in the back!
A site a I frequently visit, TresSugar, recently posted "10 Signs of a Toxic Friend", and if you know any frenemies of yours who fits even half of this list, it's time to sharpen the blade. Check out the link below!
http://www.tressugar.com/Toxic-Friend-Signs-7659989
The list is effective and precise when it comes to singling out exactly what makes a friend toxic, but if you prefer a simpler method, ask yourself one question: "Does this person make me happy?" If the answer is a big fat no, be confident that your life will be better sans the frenemy. Cutting a person entirely out entirely may seem harsh, but what has to be done has to be done and your future, happier self will thank you later. While most frenemies are harmless, it's the ones that drain the positive energy out of our lives that raise red flags. Just imagine how much lovelier a conversation I could of had with some snipping: "Oh. Em. Gee. Snip!" Bitch, please.
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