OMFG -- On the hook

There's a particularly insightful episode of How I Met Your Mother (NPH can do no wrong in my eyes...even though the show is seriously sucking as of late) where the gang talks about being on "the hook" as far as unsuccessful relationships go. The hook being when some one you're interested in gives you false hope as to some magical and perfect future together when really they're just using you to make themselves feel better. Ego boosts, adoring company, some one to do their chores...that kind of deal.

I think we've all either been on, or have had some one on our hook. Humans are selfish creatures by nature (there are rare exceptions...but let's face it, if it feels good we're usually going to do it) and relationships are the one realm where selfishness comes to surface since you're being mirrored by another person. Yes, employing the hook technique is cruel and usually ends up making you look like an ass to people you're actually interested in, but perhaps what keeps people getting hooked continuously is that hope of one day.

A promise of a future where one day everything will be perfect between you two and one day where you can be with them properly because timing, careers, and all other life factors will let them be. Now allow me to burst the bubble: that idealistic one day? Not going to happen. This false hope applies not only to simply hooked -type deals, but also many dysfunctional relationships in general. Bluntly put, if your significant other says they can't be with you right now but perhaps later in their life things will somehow work out, it's because they're not willing to accommodate you now. [Let's read between the lines here: you're not worth it to them.] Ah, a harsh realization for many, but the sooner you or the other person realizes one of you isn't worth it, the sooner things will make sense. These conclusions are especially prone to occur to us twenty-somethings since it's the decade where many of us have so many things on the go-go-go: careers need to be established, traveling seems mandatory and we make many decisions that directly affect the rest of our lives. However, to some, when they find the right person, all that other stuff can be adjusted, and some times even end in happily ever after. A rarity in this day and age even a romantic like myself can admit to, but possible nonetheless.

We're living in the here and now darling bloggees, and if it isn't working in the here and now, it's likely not going to work in the future either. Even if you think it will -- why waste your time torturing yourself about all the maybe situations that could arise? I say, leave it alone, try your best to forget it, and get back out there. Chances are there's some one who thinks you're worth it not one day, but right now. The possibilities in this world of dating and relationships in our twenties are endless, and perhaps it just takes opening our eyes to all the opportunities to understand that it's not the value others place on us that counts, it's the value we place on ourselves.
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